I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
