also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
