Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
