U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
