I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
