do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
either way he was missing a nipple.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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