: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
