some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I licked your asshole in confidence.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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