I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
