I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
