Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
