I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
you traded sex for a burrito?
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
