I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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