This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
