omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize