why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
