i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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