I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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