I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
