Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
