Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
