# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
