Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
