im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
