East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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