apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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