I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
