He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
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