Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
