Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
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