Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
We are two peas in an std pod
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
