Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
