My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
