I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
