It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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