Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
