Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I got inside last night via doggy door
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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