I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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