Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
