Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
My vagina is very pro this idea
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
