my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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