I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
