when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
