Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Randomize
