just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
