Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Last time i carry you out of a forest
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
