I want you more than these girls want KFC
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
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