I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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