A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
