did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize
