i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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