And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
